fucken angry

i wonder if you still read xanga.. if you do that's fine.. if you don't even better because i'm gonna start bitching.  You know i've tried to be really understanding lately.. but sometimes i just can't.. i try to think on your behalf.. i' m always like hmm so if i'm soyeun would i do this or what would i do if i was soyeun... and everytime my conclusion comes to no i wouldn't do that... that's pretty wrong.  I'm pretty angry and mad at you to be very honest.... so lack of responsiblity... everything is "oh i don't feel like it" or " i don't want to" what the fuck does that mean... well it really comes down to lack of concern for others... obviously you don't give a shit about me.. or i guess anyone that stands in your way of "persuing" your dream.. you always want people to sacrafise.. do this do that for you.. but to be honest what the fuck have you done for others..... what the fuck have you done for me.....  the more i think about it the more angry i am.. that's why i spent bout 14 hours sleeping these days and i think i picked up a bad smoking habbit because i know if i don't shit i think i might just start hitting something.... it's likes a sad and angry feeling togteher...... and u know as i think of it.. you're always making yourself sound so moral and so righteous.. but in the end you're the one that's breaking promises and doing stupid shit.. u know it's ironic.. because you're acting exactly like people who you look down upon.   you 're always talking shi tabout other people being weird or being stupid.. but fuck you're doing exactly that right now.  fuck i am so mad right now... i don't even know why.. it's not even disappointment anymore.... i feel like you striaght up played me for the past 3 and half yr.  hey maybe you didn't mean it.. but it doens't seem you care about it either.  one second you want to marry and be happy and i'm like ok let's do that.. next second you say oh i don't wanna marry so soon and i wanna become a designer.. fucken shit make up your fucken mind...and before you do, stop fucking leading people on..... you never ONCE go through with your fucken plan.... fucken shit... so irresponsible.. i don't even know how the fuck u can talk about being moral being righteous when you yourself don't even have a center of moral...... shit you're worse than sohee.. at least sohee knows what she wants and what she's doing and admits when she's wrong... you don't do none of that... especially u never admit when you're wrong and even when you do admit you are wrong you don't try to correct it.. your answer is simpily.. oh i am just like that i can't help it.. FUCK ... and you konw what's worse.. fuck you love to justify your own error.. this really piss me off.. everytime you do something wrong.. you're like oh i am the exception... for me it's not wrong but if others do it it's like a fucken crime.. man fucken fucken shit. a;sdlk fjalsdfasdkl;f asdf; adlsf ..... FUCK you're always talking about stress and how you can't deal with it.. fuck you think I Can deal with stress better than you.. shit life goes on deal with it bitch.   I have to deal with it every fucken day.. i have to fulfill not only my commitment to my life but my commitment to you... the fuck and you're telling me about stress.. FUCK.. what right do you have to talk about stress to me.. and now because you have "overwelming" stress you think oh the relationship is not worth it because of "stress" fuck i been living with stress and i sticked it through.. and you take a lil stress and you think its the end of the fucken world.  it's basically like this.. you put yourself on a pedastool above every mother fucker in this world.. you Soyeun, your career your dream is above my dream my sacrafise for you.. or our "Dream"... actually there was never an our in "dream" it's more like Your dream... fucken shit.. it really makes me mad thinking about what a fucken spoil bitch you are... and the worst part is you're so god damn hypocritical about that too fuck....

ok to be honest this is just my angry rant.. i am just extremely shocked and angry about you beraking up with me with no apparant good reason....... well there goes another happy "plan" right..... fuck eveyrtime i read your letters that you wrote for me it makes me even more fucken mad.. what a bunch of shit you wrote.. shoulda never believed you FUCK.  one second you can say you love me and care for me.. the next second you're telling me .. oh i don't feel like i love you anymore.. fuck go eat shit  FUCK 

hey i really wanna see your reply to this if you ever read this because this is truely how i feel as of right now to be conclusive i just exploded i dno' think i ever exploded on you in my fucken life but here it is.. my explosion maybe it will really cause us even our friendship.. but to be honest i don't give a fuck.  btw congradulation... you're the second person that push me to my anger limit (the other being my mom)

Ok this is THE worst month of my fucken life..... so many many many many shit happened.....

Fuck ufasl;kdfj l;kasdlkf   I am so fucken pissed..... this is such a bad month.. fuck this ... life can't be worse..... this is as bad as it gets. FUCK. i think i should go shoot myself or some shit..asdf lkasdlf FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUKUDSF SD FFUUUUUUCKKKKKKK  F U C K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1